I thought this would be a good post for today because this is something that has been so very true of my life. Anxiety and depression have been a part of my life for a long time now, and so far God has not cured me of them or taken them away. This has been something I've struggled with often, but overall I'm thankful for who these struggles have made me and how I've grown through them.
One of the first things you often get asked by other Christians who have no experience with mental illness is if you have prayed about your anxiety. It can also be framed in a way that makes you feel that if you only trusted God more, prayed more, read your Bible more, then your anxiety and depression should go away.
Once again, this has not been my experience and it is one of my greatest frustrations with people who are just trying to help.
But it doesn't help.
In fact, it can be one of the most discouraging things someone struggling with mental illness can hear. If I told you, my leg was broken, would you tell me to pray about it? Would you ask me if I'm trusting God enough because if I was, then maybe my broken leg would be fixed? Rarely does it work like that. People with mental illness often have chemical imbalances and something in their mind/brain might not work like it is supposed to. They often need medication to help them in this struggle. Maybe the medication is just used for a time, but it can be a very real need. (I do believe counselling is also a part of healing).
My personal experience with anxiety and depression is that it has not been taken away. However, amidst the pain and struggles, God has been present every step of the way. He has given me wise counsellors, doctors and psychiatrists who have helped me in many ways. He has given me friends and family to support me when I struggle. He has given me medication that without, I would probably not be here today. He has never left me alone, and He is the main reason I keep pressing on and fighting this battle.
He has not chosen to take away my illness. Yes, I do pray about my anxiety. Honestly, I probably pray about it more than anyone would realize because it's such a huge struggle. Just recently I wrote about a really big challenge I faced. I prayed so often about this big thing because it was impacting my life greatly. I suffered many symptoms of the anxiety including nausea, loss of appetite, headaches, daily anxiety, upset stomach, loss of sleep, etc. God did not take those away during this time even though I prayed constantly about it! But He was there every step of the way, and He did give me daily grace to handle what I had to do. I wish I had felt an overwhelming sense of peace when I prayed, and I wish my anxiety and symptoms just disappeared. But that wasn't my experience, and it isn't the experience of so many people who struggle with their mental health.
So, no, God has not chosen to take away my anxiety. Oh, how I wish He would! But at the same time, the way it makes me rely on Him so often and so much makes me thankful for it in a way. Although that is really hard to say when I'm suffering so much physically from it. So take heart those who struggle because you are not alone! Many of us struggle and our faith is strong! Sometimes there are sin issues we may need to deal with that are a cause of our anxiety, but for many people, mental illness is an affliction we will deal with for the rest of our lives. So please lean on the One who knows your struggles and who walks through the valley with you. He is there. He may choose not to take away your pain and your illness, but He knows what is best for you and He is using it to mold you into someone more like Him.
And for those of you who don't struggle or understand mental illness. Please don't ask us if we have prayed about our struggles as though this is something that has never occurred to us. Please don't tell us we don't have enough faith. Encourage us in this battle. Ask us how you can pray for us and what time of the day is hardest for us, so you can be praying at that time. Share with us a Scripture that has encouraged you in hard times. Ask us what practical things you can do to make our loads lighter. Let us know you are there and you love us. The last thing we need is more guilt, and I really don't think that is what God wants from our anxiety.
You got this, friends. Keep waking up each day and pressing on. The world is so much better with you in it <3
