I was talking with a friend this week and it was interesting because we were saying how we both feel like we are adjusting to the way things are in this pandemic and the thought of things going back to how they were before brings us some anxiety.
I think for everyone this pandemic and isolation has been hard, definitely harder for some than others. There have been parts of it that have been extremely hard for me, but I can also see a lot of good in my life in terms of more family time for us and just realizing what is important. I'm kind of getting used to the way things are right now. Of course, I still want things to go back to normal and to be able to visit with people again and go to stores and not worry about this virus. But there are parts of me that find myself getting anxious about things going back to the way they were before. In a lot of ways, life has slowed down for me and there are a lot of extra things that just aren't happening anymore. Some of those I miss, but some of them have been healthy for me to let go.
I think with mental illness there is always this anxiety that comes and goes with each new normal and with each change in life. Even without mental illness, I think this anxiety can be there, but I know it can be heightened if you already struggle with anxiety/depression.
I find myself wondering about when things go back to a more normal life, will I miss some of the aspects of my life that I've had these past few months? My husband has been home and off work and that has been stressful financially, but we have loved the time together, and its been so nice for Colt to spend so much time with his Daddy at this young age. With Matt's job, he often worked long hours and we would only see him a bit in the morning and a bit in the evening, sometimes he was home after Colt was in bed. It's been so nice to have that time as a family and even with the added financial stress, God has provided over and above what we have needed. He is always using these situations to teach me that He's got me and I don't need to worry. If he can clothe the flowers and feed the birds, He can most certainly take care of me.
In some ways, I've found I've been able to connect with people more during this time. Making the effort to call people on FaceTime, to send cards to people for encouragement, to think of who could use a text or message each day. I definitely don't want to see this reaching out and caring for people stop in my life, and I want to continue to think of others even when life resumes as normal.
Anyway all this to say, I am looking forward to life resuming as normal, but I do have some apprehension about change and how things are going to look. I look forward to a world where we aren't focusing on COVID-19, but I think in many ways this time has been good for me to slow down and realize what is important. I hope when I go back to life as it was that I won't take so many little things in my life for granted, and I will realize what a blessing it is to be able to have my friends into my home and give them a hug! I can't wait to go back to church again and worship together in person as one body. But I will always remember this time and what it was to our family and I'm grateful for that.
If you are feeling anxious in this isolation time but also feeling anxious about going back, you are not alone and I know there are others who are right there with you! We will get through it and we will also adjust when life returns to a more normal pace. Keep checking in on those around you and hopefully we can all make this adjustment easier for one another <3
