When thinking about what I wanted to write about today, I thought I would share some of the struggles of already being an anxious or depressed person and then also experiencing a worldwide pandemic WHILE being pregnant!
Overall, I am actually doing okay and I'm so thankful for that. When I'm pregnant, I actually experience less anxiety which is a huge blessing. However being pregnant in a pandemic is pretty scary, wondering about all the what ifs and possible things that can happen/go wrong.
It's tough to be stuck at home with a toddler that desperately wants to go outside and be social and being cooped up as a family definitely tries all of our patience! However, I do know that we are so blessed to be safe in our home and able to stay at home in this time. I have friends who are nurses who desperately want to be home, but are out on the frontlines serving our communities and I'm so thankful for them.
I think the biggest thing that weighs on me right now is guilt. I feel judged a lot and I don't know if that is me putting that on myself, or if others are actually being judgy. I worry every time I leave my house if my neighbours are wondering where I'm going, and if I'm doing something "essential" and whether I will be reported. I worry about every post I post on Instagram in case someone can get me in trouble or judge me doing something they might think is unnessary. I 100% think we all need to be doing what we can to stay home and flatten the curve and not contribute to the spread of Covid. But I have also been reading a lot of posts about how judgmental people are being about what is essential and nonessential and making people feel terrible about what they are doing. No, you should not be going out and wandering around when you don't need to, or having parties and gatherings, but as a mom of a toddler, I go crazy if we are all home all day. If we need to go out for a drive or if I even need to meet up with a friend and sit in a parking lot in separate cars and have some physical social interaction WHILE BEING 2 METRES apart, who are you to judge that? I think mental health is just as important as physical health and if someone is doing something safe to stay sane and be able to cope, that is essential.
Again, I have friends who are nurses who are putting themselves on the line and risking their own health and family's health to serve us, so I'm not advocating being stupid and putting yourself or others at risk, but I do think everyone's needs are different, so please don't judge others when their situation may be different than yours. I've actually found the people that seem to be the loudest about staying home are the introverts and the people who have no young kids, because honestly, it's a lot easier to be home when you fit into those two categories!
So just a friendly reminder from someone who is struggling with mental health and guilt and trying to do her best to follow the rules...try not to be so judgy and put yourselves in others' shoes before you jump to conclusions. A lot of times, the people you are judging aren't doing anything wrong, but it just looks unnecessary to you. So be kind right now because we all need it and we certainly don't need more guilty and anxiety and stress in our lives!
