It’s that time of year again where we think about the New Year and come up with some resolutions. I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions but I like to reflect on the past year and come up with goals for the new year. I think it’s been really helpful to look back on the past year and be happy with myself for what I’ve accomplished and be honest with myself about what I would like to work on this next year. I have done this the past two years and it’s not meant to be something that makes me feel like I’ve failed or something that I am prideful about when I have accomplished my goals. I like to be thankful for what I have managed to accomplish, and so often if I don’t make a conscious effort to look back and reflect, then I am not aware of what progress I have made. I also like to look back on what my goals were and how I may not have met them the way I would have liked to. I try not to feel guilty about this, but just focus on how in this next year, I can improve on those goals.
I think this has helped my mental health because it is so easy to forget the progress we have made in a year or to beat ourselves up for the many things that we feel we need to improve on. I’m really trying to be thankful to God for enabling me to work on these things, and trying not to be down on myself when I did not fulfill the goals I wanted to.
This year I have been reading a few blogs from people who pick a word to focus on for the year. This is a word that they want to grow and develop in their lives over the next 365 days. I have never done this but I have been thinking about it the last few days, and have been trying to think of a word that I want to focus on this year.
After some thought, I think my word for this year will be PRESENCE. This is a big thing for me as my mind is often so active, and always jumping ahead to the future or dwelling on the past. I really want to be in the present and enjoy the moments I’m experiencing. I think this is so important for us all, but now that I have a little boy, I really want to be present for him. I want to focus on him when we are playing and not be focusing on my phone. I have a tendency to be on social media too much during the day. I don’t want him to grow up thinking of me always with a phone in my hand. I also think this is important for my anxiety, because I know when I spend too much time on my phone, my anxiety is worse.
I think presence is something that is so key for mental health as well, because as someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, I can often get caught up in being anywhere but where I am. I worry about the future and I think about my to do lists. I worry about the past, and maybe something I said or did wrong. I don’t want to be focused on that stuff. It doesn’t do me or anyone else any good and I just make myself feel sick when I’m focused on the past or the future (in a negative, worrying way).
So this year, I want to be present. I want to be right where I am in every moment doing my best to see the joy and beauty in everything. I wrote about the mundane in life a few blog posts ago and I’m really experiencing that as a mom. There is so much fun and joy in motherhood too, but there are a lot of sleepless, monotonous tasks that wear me down! I want to be present even in those moments, because the reason that I am doing those monotonous tasks is because I have a beautiful little boy who I love with all my heart and I am so thankful for him. I’m thankful for housework because I have a home. I’m thankful for sleepless nights because I have a healthy, growing baby. I’m thankful for dirty laundry because I have people in my life who have made those clothes dirty. I could go on and on, but my point is….I want to be present this year even in those moments.
So my encouragement to you is to try looking back on the past year and be thankful for all you have accomplished. And those areas in which you feel you failed, be thankful you have another year to work on them! None of us are perfect and it takes a long time to change and grow, but that doesn’t mean that every year, we aren’t a step closer.
And maybe pick a word that you would like to define your year. Something you want to focus on and grow in.
And always….
BE PRESENT. I promise you and those around you will be grateful for it.
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