Find Your Safe People

I can’t do this on my own.  Life is too hard and messy and there is too much pain and hurt to suffer alone.  I can’t imagine what my life would be like if there weren’t people who were walking alongside me, praying for me and offering hope and encouragement when I need it.  When I can’t see the light, it helps to have others who can point me towards it.  

My hope for anyone reading this is that you have those people too.  People who are safe and who you can share your heart with.  People who you don’t have to pretend to be okay around.  People you can share your anger, hurt, frustrations, hopes and joys with.  We weren’t meant to walk through this life alone.  Community is so important and so needed.  

Not everyone is safe to open up to and not everyone can walk alongside you especially when life gets hard.  It’s hard to spend time with a hurting person.  It can drain you and make you feel uncomfortable, but it is so important and so needed.  And it is also rewarding too.  Maybe not right away, and maybe not ever visibly, but you can know that it was eternally noticed.  And hopefully after you have been that person for someone when they need it, maybe they will be that person for you when you need them.  

And if you are currently that safe person for someone and it’s tiring you out, I just want to encourage you that what you are being for that person is so important and so loving.  So keep it up, friend.  You are needed.  

And if you are that person that doesn’t have anyone safe in their life, be praying that God would provide that for you.  It is so vital.  Also be praying that you can be this person to others too, and maybe by doing that God will open up doors for you to serve and be served by others.  

And if you need someone to talk to, I am here for you and praying for you right now. <3

Grace for the Afflicted

I read a book by this title a few years ago and I loved it-both the book and the title.  This particular book is about mental health but I think we are all afflicted in some way whether that be physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.  I’m so thankful for the grace that gets me through those days when I don’t have my own strength to make it.  Those days when I’m so exhausted and can’t bear the thought of getting out of bed.  The days when I feel so anxious and stressed, I can’t imagine another day of dealing with what is going on in my head.  The days when I feel so defeated and depressed and I can’t imagine living another day without the joy and hope I’ve lost.  

On those days, I cry out to God for the grace that I need to get me through the day.  I know that even though I don’t have the capacity to make it through this day on my own, He has abundant energy, joy and grace to shower upon me, and with His help I can make it through this seemingly impossible day.  

Today is a bit like one of those days, but it’s not as bad as some I’ve had.  However, I know there are sweet friends of mine who are living these days often lately and so today I’m writing for them.  I’m praying the grace you need today will fill you up and help you get through this day.  I’m praying that the God of all you need meets you and helps you to not only make it through your day, but also gives you some joy in the midst of this tough day.  

He sees your struggles and He knows this day is hard.  Give it to Him and rest in His Presence knowing that it is only Him who can sustain you.  I’m thankful for that promise and pray you can cling to it too.  You are loved!

A sweet friend gave me this verse today and I’m sharing it with you. “The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24

I don't HAVE to, I GET to

I recently read an article from a woman who said that by changing three simple words, she was able to change her attitude from being one of discontent to one of gratitude.  She found that instead of complaining of all the things she HAD to do, she started being grateful for all the things she GOT to do.  Instead of complaining about having to do laundry, she was thankful for the people she loved that she was doing laundry for.  Instead of complaining that she had to cook dinner or clean her house, she was thankful for a house to clean and food to eat.  This article really helped me this week in shifting my sometimes negative attitude to a more positive outlook.  

I find with anxiety, I can often start to look at things that are before me as looming objects of dread, instead of choosing to see them in a more positive way.  When I may not feel like going to work, I can be thankful that I have a job that I love and where I can serve.  When I had a bad night sleep and I don’t know how I will cope with the day ahead, I’m thankful for the good nights that I often get, and I am thankful for the strength that is always given to me for the day ahead. 

I’m choosing to focus on what I GET to do every day and not what I HAVE to do.  This changes my attitude, and so often the fog of anxiety and gloom that is burdening me dissipates.  It doesn’t always work right away, but I do find this shift in how I view my days and my tasks can be helpful to me with my anxiety and gloomy moods.    

I think it’s really easy to build things up in a negative way in your head when you struggle with anxiety, and this is one easy way I try to combat this.   I hope this small change in words of how you view your daily tasks and responsibilities can help you too <3

The Frustrations of Changing Moods and Emotions

I don’t know about you but I find my emotions and my mood really, really frustrating at times.  I feel as though one minute, I’m on a high and feeling pretty good about life and where I’m at and then the next minute, I’m feeling down and just want to cry.  I don’t know if this is me just being emotional, whether its pregnancy hormones, whether its my brain chemistry, but whatever it is, I hate it.  I wish I could be even-keeled and consistent.  I’d settle for feeling okay and levelled rather than so up and down all the time.  

I’ve found this happening more recently and I’ve been trying to find ways to combat the fluctuating moods.  I think sometimes it helps me just to embrace the lows and realize that for me, they will pass in time.  I never know how long. Sometimes a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, and sometimes the whole day, I’ll be feeling down but at some point it switches and I’m thankful for that.  This realization of thinking, “This too shall pass,” has been helpful for me.  

I know I have talked about it frequently but trying to think of five things I’m thankful for also helps.  I often do it reluctantly and I may not want to be thankful at the time, but I find if I’m feeling down and I do this exercise, it focuses my mind on the good in my life, and it can lift my mood and change my outlook.  

I know I’m really lacking in sleep and I’m sure that doesn’t help my moods, so probably if I could just sleep more, I’d feel more balanced…easy to say, hard to do at this stage!  

Anyway I didn’t really know what to write today, so I thought I’d just share this current struggle of mine and hope that I’m not alone in it!  Sometimes life is just hard and full of ups and downs and these are some of the ways I’m trying to cope these days.  I have been sick for a week now and I’ve never had someone relying on me in the same way when I am sick as now.  I have always wondered how moms took care of their babies when they were sick and it was one of my biggest fears wondering how I would face it.  Anyway here we are now and I’m facing it.  I wish I could say I’m handling it well but I’m just discouraged and I feel like it will never end!  I know that’s not true,  and “This too shall pass,” but, man, its hard in the midst of it!  It’s easy to want to give up, but I know that’s not really an option right now.  I’m still a mom even when I’m sick and I’m thankful for that too.  

I hope everyone reading this is staying healthy and happy on this sunny Monday.  If it’s a down day, it will pass.  And if it’s a good day, YAY!  Keep it up!  And to all those mamas out there who are sick or dealing with sick kids, I feel ya.  You are a champ!

New Year's Resolutions?

It’s that time of year again where we think about the New Year and come up with some resolutions.  I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions but I like to reflect on the past year and come up with goals for the new year.  I think it’s been really helpful to look back on the past year and be happy with myself for what I’ve accomplished and be honest with myself about what I would like to work on this next year.  I have done this the past two years and it’s not meant to be something that makes me feel like I’ve failed or something that I am prideful about when I have accomplished my goals.  I like to be thankful for what I have managed to accomplish, and so often if I don’t make a conscious effort to look back and reflect, then I am not aware of what progress I have made.  I also like to look back on what my goals were and how I may not have met them the way I would have liked to.  I try not to feel guilty about this, but just focus on how in this next year, I can improve on those goals.  

I think this has helped my mental health because it is so easy to forget the progress we have made in a year or to beat ourselves up for the many things that we feel we need to improve on.  I’m really trying to be thankful to God for enabling me to work on these things, and trying not to be down on myself when I did not fulfill the goals I wanted to.  

This year I have been reading a few blogs from people who pick a word to focus on for the year.  This is a word that they want to grow and develop in their lives over the next 365 days.  I have never done this but I have been thinking about it the last few days, and have been trying to think of a word that I want to focus on this year.  

After some thought, I think my word for this year will be PRESENCE.  This is a big thing for me as my mind is often so active, and always jumping ahead to the future or dwelling on the past.  I really want to be in the present and enjoy the moments I’m experiencing.  I think this is so important for us all, but now that I have a little boy, I really want to be present for him.  I want to focus on him when we are playing and not be focusing on my phone.  I have a tendency to be on social media too much during the day.  I don’t want him to grow up thinking of me always with a phone in my hand.  I also think this is important for my anxiety, because I know when I spend too much time on my phone, my anxiety is worse.  

I think presence is something that is so key for mental health as well, because as someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, I can often get caught up in being anywhere but where I am.  I worry about the future and I think about my to do lists.  I worry about the past, and maybe something I said or did wrong.  I don’t want to be focused on that stuff.  It doesn’t do me or anyone else any good and I just make myself feel sick when I’m focused on the past or the future (in a negative, worrying way).  

So this year, I want to be present.  I want to be right where I am in every moment doing my best to see the joy and beauty in everything.  I wrote about the mundane in life a few blog posts ago and I’m really experiencing that as a mom.  There is so much fun and joy in motherhood too, but there are a lot of sleepless, monotonous tasks that wear me down!  I want to be present even in those moments, because the reason that I am doing those monotonous tasks is because I have a beautiful little boy who I love with all my heart and I am so thankful for him.  I’m thankful for housework because I have a home.  I’m thankful for sleepless nights because I have a healthy, growing baby.  I’m thankful for dirty laundry because I have people in my life who have made those clothes dirty.  I could go on and on, but my point is….I want to be present this year even in those moments.  

So my encouragement to you is to try looking back on the past year and be thankful for all you have accomplished.  And those areas in which you feel you failed, be thankful you have another year to work on them!  None of us are perfect and it takes a long time to change and grow, but that doesn’t mean that every year, we aren’t a step closer.  

And maybe pick a word that you would like to define your year.  Something you want to focus on and grow in.  

And always….

BE PRESENT.  I promise you and those around you will be grateful for it.  

You are Brave and so much Stronger than you Know

I see you and I know…

I see you.

You with the crippling depression who can barely get out of bed in the morning.

You who struggles to see the joy and purpose in life anymore.

You whose hope is fading, wondering if you will ever feel alive again.

I see you.

I see you.

You who is struggling with chronic pain/illness and discouragement wondering if you will ever feel healthy again.

You who is wondering if there will be a day where you wake up and feel no pain.

You who is now struggling with anxiety because you never know what each day will bring and whether or not you can cope with doing what you have to do.

I see you.

I see you.

You who has crippling anxiety.

You who finds that the simplest things that “normal” people can do, paralyze you.

You who constantly wish that you could be “normal” too.  

You who wonders why you feel this way and if/when you will ever be free of this tight feeling in your chest or that sick feeling in your stomach.

I see you.

I see you.

You who is struggling with insomnia.

You can’t sleep and you walk through most of your days in a haze.

Other people don’t understand because they don't know how important sleep is to functioning until they aren’t getting it anymore.  

You who wonders if you will ever be able to enjoy your days again and not just exist through them.  

I see you.

I see you.

You who is facing that horrible loss

Whether it be a death, a relationship, a job, or the broken dreams of life not turning out like you had planned.

You live each day numb to what is going on around you

Aching for what was or what could have been.

I see you.

I see you because I know.  I’ve been there.  I don’t understand each of these circumstances to the extent of many of my sweet friends struggling, but I have experienced many of them at various points and it is hard.

Let me tell you that you are brave..so brave…getting up each and every day and facing your day despite how you feel.  

You are so strong.  To push through that pain, that anxiety, that depression, that sleeplessness, that loss and to do what you have to do knowing that most people around you have no idea how much effort it costs you.

You are capable of so much more than you think.

This depression, this anxiety, this pain, this sleeplessness, this loss, while it seems like you will never be past your struggle, these burdens can make you stronger.  They can change who you are and they can change you for the better.  They can refine your character.  They can make you more patient, more grateful, more compassionate, more able to share in the sufferings of others.  

Hold on to that hope.  Hold on to that promise.  It does get better.  If all you managed to do today was exist, that’s enough.  You’ve got this sweet friend.  You are not alone.  You are seen.

And maybe one day when you are past this particular pain, or even in the midst of the storm, you can reach out to someone else who is struggling with the same thing and you can point them to hope, to truth, to peace.  And you can tell them that they are so brave and so strong and that they’ve got this too. <3    

Soli Deo Gloria

Glorious in the Mundane and Being in the Present

A friend of mine recently recommended a podcast to me called “Glorious in the Mundane” hosted by Christy Nockels and I’ve listened to a few episodes lately.  This podcast has been such an encouragement to me and my mental health because as I’ve entered into this new season of motherhood, I’ve found much of my life to be filled with mundane tasks that seem to never end!  Endless loads of laundry, changing a thousand diapers a day, doing the same monotonous things over and over again.  

I struggled with this before I was a mom too.  Much of our lives are filled with doing the same menial tasks over and over again and it can sometimes feel overwhelming and pointless.  I remember when I was struggling with a period of depression at one point just thinking that so much of what I do feels meaningless and I wondered what the point of it was.  It’s easy to get discouraged when you feel the monotony of life.

 As I was listening to this podcast, Christy talks about this very real struggle in motherhood and life in general.  She also spoke about how so often we are in a season of life just waiting for it to be over and desperately wanting to get to the next stage.  Why is that?  Why is it so hard for me to be content where I am and to find the joy in the little things each day?  Someday I’m going to look back on these days and wish I was back here.  I know so much of my mental health struggles have been made worse when I  constantly wish away the present and hope for the future or long for the past.  It’s not wrong to look forward to things in the future, or to fondly remember the past, but there is beauty in the present and so much for us to learn right here, right now.  

When I focus on making the mundane glorious, and being content in the present, life is much richer.  Enjoy these moments, because before you know it, they are gone and you are in the next stage wishing back the last one.  No matter what the menial task is that we are doing, we can do it with love.  We can honour God and our families and friends in the most trivial tasks just as much as the tasks that we deem much more important.  I don’t believe He values one over the other.  What He cares about is my attitude when I’m doing those tasks or how I’m serving my family and the world around me in the present.  I will waste my life if I am constantly wishing for the future, hoping I can do great things when the great things that I am meant to do are the little, everyday tasks set before me each and every day.  

Someday I will look back and I’ll miss the little newborn stage, and maybe I’ll even miss the thousands of diapers I changed because I’ll miss my little guy being little enough to fall asleep on me and being able to cuddle with him in the afternoon in bed watching a movie.  Right now it’s hard not to wish this time away because I sit at home all day and I am recovering from birth and longing for my life to get into a normal routine.  

So I’m trying to savour every moment and be in the present because one day, I won’t have anyone else’s laundry to do and I will wish I did.  I want to be thankful for the present and all the lessons it is teaching me.  And let me tell you, this fills me with such joy and gratitude that my mental health benefits from in so many ways.  So no matter what stage you are in whether it be waiting to graduate from school, waiting to be married, waiting to be a parent, waiting to buy a house, waiting, waiting, waiting…choose to be grateful for this time and be in the present.  And work at making the mundane glorious!

And for those who are going through a painful season, as hard as it is, don’t wish that away either.  God teaches us so much in our pain and struggles and I know I would not be the same person I am today if God had not allowed the pain and suffering that I have gone through.  You don’t have to be glad you are going through a rough season, but thank God for what He is teaching you through this and who He is making you into.  There is something to learn even in this and someday you can look back on it and catch a glimpse of what He was doing.  He is making you even more beautiful than you already are.  Take heart because He has overcome and He knows what He is doing.  I promise you it will be for your good and His glory <3  Be sorrowful, yet always rejoicing….  

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  

1 Corinthians 10:31 

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 

2 Corinthians 4:17